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Because Mama Can

Saturday, July 11th, 2015







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The Best Laid Plans

of Mice and Men

and Wedding Planners





Well, we did it. We got the boy married off. Sir Flying Ace and his precious Miss AirHeart tied the knot to fly the friendly skies, united. The wedding was beautiful. The venue was breath-taking and the rain was pouring right up until 30 minutes before the outdoor service with beautiful weather until rain returned just as the guests started leaving. God is gracious.


And THEN there was the rehearsal dinner. That was assigned to me and Mr. Fix-It. We were supposed to put together a Texas Bar-B-Q shindig, at the request of Sir Flying Ace, from 9 hours away and in a venue never seen before – actually to be seen, for the first time, on the morning of the day of the dinner. Piece of cake, right? Wedding cake, that is.


Well, anyone who knows me knows that I love to put together an event. I love designing the invitations, making the favors, coming up with decorations, planning the menu – all of the creative things that go into making a memory. Getting it served and dealing with the chaos? Not so much. But I was a woman with a mission and for 3 ½ months, I spent night and day making notes, making lists, sewing, gluing, designing, printing and on and on. It was so much fun. Putting the centerpieces together was a blast. I even made the stands for the airplanes by cutting Plexiglas and then bending it with my curling iron to form these stands on which the airplanes could be hot glued. We were not allowed to bring any glass to the dinner venue, so everything had to be paper, plastic or metal. The candle holders were sheets of frosted Plexiglas, glued together and filled with iridescent beads to hold LED tea lights. The surface for each centerpiece was a red charger from Hobby Lobby, topped with a doily, blue bonnets and greenery.


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The Centerpieces



Because all this was occurring in a small town and because I was not familiar with the restaurants – what ones there were – and because I love to bite off more than I can chew, (no pun intended) I came up with the brilliant idea to smoke turkeys and hams and purchase smoked briskets to freeze ahead of time and then cart down to Texas to heat in wonderful, roasters that would double as serving stations. I got all the fixin’s for “from scratch” baked beans – three gallons of them – cole slaw, chips, all of the condiments and sauces, hors d’oeuvres , and desserts and all was packed into carefully labeled boxes to be stacked in various vehicles for transport. I was on an organized roll.


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The Drink Table



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We Used Cast Iron For Serving Dishes



But you know that poem by Robert Burns about the little mouse and best-laid plans? Yeah, I was the mouse. The night of the party, the tables were set, with favor boxes placed in a row down the center of each one, burlap banners were hung with bows and the serving tables were cute as could be.


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I was dripping in sweat with hair plastered to my head, but planning on hitting the shower within a few minutes. And then, it happened. An hour before guest arrivals, my friend, Deborah, hurried up to tell me, in hushed tones and through gritted teeth, that none of the food was cooked. None of the roasters were hot. The crock pot with cheese sauce wasn’t even warm. She and a couple of other friends were rushing from one roaster to the next, moving them to plug them into different outlets, only to find that none of the outlets worked. The beautiful, expensive venue was wired so badly that it would not even support the crockpot. Every electrical outlet would blow just as soon as anything was plugged into it. No food. Nothing but cole slaw, potato chips, hors d’oeuvres and dessert.


Now, I COULD tell you that I, in my calm and organized manner, took all in stride and barked orders, totally in control of the situation. Nahhhh. I grabbed my cell phone, saw that I had NO service, and began walking up a hill to try to gain service, all the while punching buttons to reach Mr. Fix-It. The longer I walked, no – limped, the more I gulped for air, probably hyperventilating. Finally, I got hold of my hubby. Now, I COULD tell you that I calmly explained the situation to him so that we could reason a solution together. However, I probably should admit that when I heard his voice, the tears rolled down my sweaty cheeks and I wailed, “We HAVE no food!!! We have 40 to 50 people coming in 30 minutes and we HAVE no food!!!!” I hiccupped. He, being the typical man, responded, “What do you MEAN we HAVE no food? What was all that junk we drove with for eight hours??” I explained and then, in a matter of seconds, a plan began to form in my racing mind.


That morning, at the HEB Grocery Store, truly the establishment that gives reason why all should move to South Texas, there had been a sign advertising a shrimp and crawfish boil for the day. It would last from 11am until 6 pm. I looked at the time. It was 4:45. I breathlessly cried, “Shrimp!! Get some shrimp at the stand at the grocery store. See if they have enough for us to buy plenty. And get their corn-on-the cob too!” Mr. Fix-It got very quiet as he calculated what that was going to cost him and then asked, “How much? How much shrimp?”


I told you that my mind was a-whir. I told you that I was not calm. I told you that I was out of breath and had tendrils of hair clinging to my neck, face and forehead. That is my excuse, because instead of saying, “Enough for 40 or 50 people.” I said, “Enough for 40 or 50 POUNDS.” Oh yes. I did. And being the obedient, dutiful husband that he is, Mr. Fix-It went to the booth, explained the situation and spent $400 on 40 lbs. of freshly-caught and steamed gulf shrimp….a pound per person.


I, on the other hand, had only enough time to run into the venue restrooms and put my entire head under the faucet of the sink, where I let cold water run over hair and skin alike. I took an extra shirt and used it as a towel, and then dried my hair under the hand dryer. Fortunately I had a change of clothes and makeup with me, as well, and so, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, donned fresh clothes and makeup and pretended to be as cool as a cucumber. The shrimp was a hit and fun was had by all and most were none the wiser.


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The Joshua Springs Park and Preserve in the Texas Hill Country, venue for the wedding and dinner



What, do you ask, did we do with all of the food? Two turkey breasts, two full hams, three briskets, 20 lbs of shrimp and three gallons of baked beans? Well, we got dry ice and took all of it home where I canned 21 pints of ham, 21 pints of beans and 14 pints of turkey and froze three briskets, as well as 20 lbs of shrimp in 2 lb bags. And in the next several posts, I’ll show you some recipes for that canned meat.


Oh. And did I tell you that there WAS a wedding?


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Happy ‘Flying’ By The Seat Of


Your Pants!



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Can You Help? Please!!! :-)

Tuesday, June 16th, 2015





Calling all OPC fans!!! We have applied for a grant to build a building so that you all can come visit us and even sign up for free cooking and canning classes! It’s a really big deal and we need your help. We have to have 250 votes in order to qualify. Please go to the voting page HERE where it takes all of 20 seconds to click on the blue ‘vote’ button. Everybody’s help would be so appreciated. We only have a day and half left to get the votes so everybody jump in and help!! Thank you!!!


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Temporary Issues – We Hope

Saturday, November 9th, 2013







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UPDATE: Yay! We are back online. Thank you to web guru, Jon, for rewriting code and doing all the hard stuff to get us back to business. And thank you to everyone for your patience.


We apologize, but the website has been hit and all buttons, except for the blog button, are not working. According to our web hosting company, all of our folders are gone!! Who wiped them out? And why? Grrrr. In other words, shopping online is not available. However, if you are wanting to place an order with us, please give us a call at 405-275-5639 and place your order by phone. Hopefully, the issue will be solved quickly!



Happy Shopping Anyway!



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NASE





Living Off the Grid: Tornado Report

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013







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We ARE OK!


I have very little time to post as there is no internet, no electricity and spotty cell (I am borrowing a wifi gizmo for a second)


As I said, we have no electricity and so I am having to practice what I preach on this blog about preparedness and learning to live in a different way. When we get internet up, I will be sharing pictures and information of what we have learned. All I can say is, “Thank goodness for canned bacon!!” 🙂


Somehow, on Sunday, May 19th, as we sat in the cellar and experienced being in a full-fledged, mile wide, 250 mph, EF4 tornado, our buildings (except for a little roof damage) sustained very little impact. Our trees were decimated, but that’s no big deal. However, the farms/homes directly behind us, to our south and even across the road sustained significant damage. In fact, for nearly two miles behind us, there are few homes left standing. When we left our shelter, we were certain that we would find the same thing on our property and are still shocked at how little damage was incurred. We realize that we have witnessed a miracle and just can’t get our minds around why us. Our praises go to God and His unending love and plans for us and we give honor only to Him.


Thank you for all of the prayers, thoughts and attempts at contact. Hopefully, we will be back up and running here pretty quickly. And please check out your local Salvation Army or other areas of donation to help the people here in Bethel Acres, Shawnee, Carney and Moore.



Thanks to all my readers!


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MB
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New Giveaway!!

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012







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Enter Now!


First on the agenda – there is a glitch here at the blog and I am very aware of it. In fact, I’m kind of overwhelmed by it. When I started writing way back in 2009, I was green as a gourd and had absolutely no idea what I was doing. The blog is powered by WordPress.org and is quite different from Blogger and other sites. I have to write much of the blog in HTML and when I post pictures, there has to be a host site for the photos with accompanying HTML to assign a spot for each picture. I know now that I can host my own photos at my own FTP site, but am just now trying to figure out how to do that. Soooo, way back then, after figuring out that “hosting” didn’t have anything to do with my penchant for laying a table of edibles for a party, I put the first two years of blog post photos at a site called ImageHost.org. Well, Imagehost is no more. It is gone. Finis. Kaput. And with its demise, so go my photos hosted. I still have the photos, but now I am going to have to go back one post by one post to reload pictures and retype HTML. It is gonna take awhile because we are talking some 400 photos, but it will get done. I got the first 5 posts done last night. It was kinda fun going back that far and reading what I was doing. My, my. How far we have come!! Anyway, if there is a particular post that you are needing and the pictures are gone, email me and I will hop over to that post and get it fixed first.


Second order of business – it is high time for a giveaway!! And I am hoping you are REALLY gonna like this one. It will go until Labor Day and on that day, a winner’s name will be drawn. All you have to do is to leave a comment at any of the posts and your name and email address will be entered. The winner will receive this lovely marble rolling pin with stand, and a package of biscuit mix to roll out with the rolling pin!


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So start commenting! And you can enter as many times as you wish. Good luck to everybody!


Update: If you are having trouble posting, go to the very bottom of the post and click on the blue link that says, “Comments” with the number of comments in front of it. It appears that the link in the box is bad.

Happy Entering!



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The Blog Has Been Hit

Monday, March 26th, 2012





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Gnashing My Teeth


Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before somebody decided to be mean and nasty. The blog gets countless numbers of spam posts that I am able to catch before they appear through a wonderful plugin available through WordPress. However, it seems that somehow, someone has deleted all of my photographs from the days when I was using TinyPic.com. Sooooo, it’s gonna take awhile for me and Mr. Fix-It (who is a computer wizard) to go through, figure out which pictures are gone, one post by one post. Please bear with me through the process. Hopefully, we will get this straightened out in a timely fashion.


Update: Well, I guess I can call myself a bit “self-centered” because it wasn’t the blog that got hit (of course, I automatically thought it was!!), but evidently was TinyPic.com that got hit. It appears that most everything is back up. If you catch a photo that isn’t there, please let me know. There’s a bunch of pictures and easy to miss some!!



Happy Adjusting!

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Please Vote Here!!

Thursday, September 1st, 2011





Name The Blog

Contest


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For the last month and a half, we have been accepting entries in the Name The Blog competition. I decided that The Oklahoma Pastry Cloth™ Blog was kind of a yawner and so readers from across the fruited plain have come up with some real doozies. We have chosen the top 10 entries from an array of nearly 40 (does this sound like Miss America?) and you, dear readers, are going to be the panel of judges for this most important of choices!! Some are funny and some are just nice. You decide which one defines this blog the best. So just leave your comments below this post, listing which one of these ten names you favor. And this post will come before each following post for the next two weeks – the duration of the voting period. So get your friends to vote here too or “like” us on FaceBook and you can vote there too. Our winner receives a $25 gift certificate and a gift basket of OPC™ goodies!


  • The Okie Homemaker: Rollin’ In Dough
  • The Okie Homemaker: Picklin’ and Grinnin’
  • The Okie Homemaker: Your Local Dough Nut
  • The Okie Homemaker: Doughlightfully Yours
  • The Oklahoma Homemaker: Simple Simmering
  • The Okie Homesteader: 21st Century Frontier Living
  • The Okie Homesteader: My Apron Pocket
  • The Oklahoma Homemaker and Eatin’ Okie
  • The Oklahoma Homemaker: Okie Dough Key
  • The Oklahoma Homemaker: Basically Simple – Basically Good
  • And I have to list the honorable mention here because it was too funny: The Okie Baker: Your Very Mary Pastry Fairy. For those who don’t get it, my first name is Mary!!

    Happy Voting!



    MB
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    Murphy’s Law

    Thursday, June 2nd, 2011





    Murphy’s Law



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    They say that accidents come in three’s. I have no clue who “they” are, but I’m here to tell you that I have scientifically proven that “they” are absolutely correct. Yesterday, there were no accidents. Day before yesterday there were no accidents. But today – well that’s a whole ‘nother story. Yes, there were accidents and yes, there were three of them. Proof enough for me.


    It is with this knowledge that I try never to ask the question, “What else can happen?!” because I have found that as sure as one asks, one receives the answer. I realize now that understanding the first step on the journey down the road to acceptance and serenity, rather than that of anger and frustration, is embracing this equation: For every first mishap there will always be two proceeding mishaps. It’s going to happen, why fight it?


    On that note, this morning, I learned a valuable lesson along with proving this theory. Although the beautiful, tall and glistening pour bottles that house olive oils are pretty to look at, they are no match for a 5/8” thick ceramic tile floor. I found this out as my elbow inadvertently clipped my favorite bottle of oil standing next to the stove, sending it crashing to the floor. I believe the word, “explode” would be an appropriate description of what happened to that bottle. Glass was found tens of feet down the hallway, in an adjoining room and in the potted plant that I’m sure thought it was safe on its stand. But the glass was bad enough without all that oil. Do you realize how difficult it is to clean up glass that is surrounded by puddles of clear – and might I add, expensive – extra virgin olive oil? I gently gathered as much as I could with paper towels and then mopped with floor cleaner, as best I could. It was actually a pointless task in spreading the oil thinly into a larger area. I decided to let it dry and then I would tackle it again with grease-cutting Dawn.


    It was then that Mr. Fix-It came in to inform me of the second variable to my science experiment. “The well-house is flooded,” he said matter-of-factly. “It’s got about four inches of water in it. All of the fertilizer and lime is sitting in water.” I groaned. He had pulled some things out into the yard to let them dry in the heat of the day and I asked him what had happened. Now here, you have to give Mr. Fix-It credit for being a most honest man. He could have told me that wild vandals had come in the middle of the night and turned on the spigot. He could have told me that giant rats, desperate for water, had gnawed through a hose. But no, he ‘fessed up that when he was mowing last night, he had unhooked the hose that goes to the garden watering system without turning off the timer that turns on that watering system. The timer went off last night, as usual, but there was no hose so water just filled the well-house. Mr. Fix-It looked disgusted and I, the very wise woman that I am, knew to keep my mouth shut. He left for work with the cuffs of his pants a little damp, at which point, I returned to prepare for my day of work.


    As I wrote in a couple of posts ago, I am easily distracted. One would hope, however, that my brain could process these two simple disasters as having occurred simultaneously, such that my memory would be nudged as I entered the kitchen with the confident step of one on a mission. One confident step…that is. There was no second step since, as I took that first one, my foot glided effortlessly across the oily surface of the floor. Though I tried to use the other foot to stay balanced, it slid with equal ease and both feet flew into the air as my butt hit the tile unceremoniously. I hit my elbow too. Ouch. As I sat there in that larger, thinner layer of oil, I yelled out to no one in particular, ‘That’s it!!!” Of course, you know at that point I remembered the part about that road to the serenity of acceptance. Well, fine. I cleaned myself up and headed to the chiropractor!


    It is at this point where, despite the mishaps, I do well to practice that ‘attitude of gratitude’. And so, I am thankful that I didn’t break anything, I am thankful that I now have a sparkly clean, albeit well-oiled, kitchen floor and I’m thankful that the well-house is also spic-and-span. I am also sure that these three incidents will open the door for peer review from my fellow scientists. Look for my published experiment in the next issue of Science Monthly where I am sure the “theys” will certainly be happy with my irrefutable proof of their hypothesis.


    Happy Being Careful!



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    Roses and Berries and Grapes – Oh My!

    Thursday, May 5th, 2011





    All’s Well In Okie Land



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    As cold as it has in these here parts, it’s amazing to see how fruits and veggies are responding. It’s awesome. I picked 4 quarts of strawberries and am cutting those up for more jam and, of course, strawberry shortcake. I thought I’d just take you on a stroll through part of the garden and let you see how great everything looks.


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    The Knockout roses are a knockout!



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    The azaleas must think they’re in Georgia!



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    The Dianthus and Daisies are divine



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    The asparagus, on its second year, is a canopy of fronds



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    The strawberries have gone crazy



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    As have the blueberries



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    And the grapes. All the little flower bunches are “pre” bunches of grapes



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    Yes, despite the drought and the freeze and the wind, it’s a pretty good year. Just goes to show you that God’s creation can dish out and take anything!! We’re just along for the ride.



    Happy Gardening!



    MB
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